Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ever feel so broken & so unsure of the future?

Getting the news that we lost our two year battle with Versante was about as devestating of a blow that I could imagine. We fought the long hard battle for what will be nearly 3 years this winter. I know it was a home we didn't belong in. I know that the Lord shutting the door on us moving into the home in hindesight, was the best thing for our family. However in my heart, I guess I always beleived the good would prevail. I thought we would get our $70,000 deposit back or at least the $50,000 that is still sitting in Escrow. I thought that all of the money we paid in Attorney's fees would be worth it in the end. But in the end, it looks as if being the good guy wasn't enough, his story was stronger than ours. He found a way to "prove" that we didn't want the home & "we" backed out of the contract. We're not only kissing our money & future hopes goodbye but also now figuring out a way to pay for his Attorney's fees.

If ever my faith is shaken it is now. When do we deserve a break? We've taken LOTS of lumps and learned LOTS of lessons the past 2 1/2 years but I have to wonder when will it stop and to what expense? What good is the Lord going to bring of this? Where has God been in lately in hearing our cries? What good is coming of any of this? I've always beleived that the Lord is caring for us and guiding us, but lately all I feel is silence. I want to understand how we are going to learn from the rich builder getting to keep our money, when we so badly needed it. Right now, I'm a little tired of being positive. I don't feel the Lord nor do I hear him right now. I'm waiting on Bill to call me back but I'm thinking he's short on words and even shorter on hope himself right now.
Ted Mayes, of Versante Villas, congratualtions.. I hope your victory feels sweet.


Robyn said...

I'm so sorry Lorayne. That is awful. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help, in any way. You know I mean it.
I know you won't give up hope, it's just frustrating to be hit with so much for so long. Don't feel like you're alone. You have friends waiting to stand by you guys, and God never leaves your side, for a second, even if it feels like it. I'm keeping you guys in my prayers.

Lizzy said...

Lorayne, when Hector heard the news of my life-threatening disease it was like a ton of bricks hitting him in the chest. He said your exact words..."What good is coming of any of this?"..."I thought the good would prevail?"

Many, many times since September 2008, I've heard Hector's cry to the Lord..."God, take everything I have. Take the house, take the shop, the cars, the money...but PLEASE don't take my wife, the love of my life, the one that has always been a true christian even when she wasn't a christian and always been the good person, inside and out. I'll live under a bridge, if I have to, just keep my kids and my wife here with me, safe and healthy."

I don't mean to put you or what you're going through down. Just know that your cries are felt by many. Sometimes we are angry with the Lord...we don't have the answers and it doesn't always seem fair but what kind of people are during that time? Hector and I have really learned where our priorities lie.

Sending you all my love,