Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Our newest girl, Cinnamon

I don't think you'll ever forget watching an animal die. When we had Mocha, he drove me insane. Fur everywhere, accidents in the house, eating too much & throwing up, he didn't listen to me. I just couldn't wait to get rid of him. But when he was gone & I saw the pain that my family went through loosing this animal, all I felt was regret. I feel regret for not taking the time out of my busy life to bond with this dog. I feel badly for not having enough patience with him when in hindsight most of his behavior was because he was old and sick. The two nights we spent without him, things were sad in our house. The girls & Bill were just not quite the same.

So yesterday we went to two animal shelters to start our search for the perfect family cat (nice & low maintence). We were at the Riverside County shelter trying to filter through the hundreds of kittys & the girls wanted to go check out the dogs before we left. In one of the very last cages sat a purebread chocolate lab (she looked like a skinny, shorter version of Mocha). The girls wouldn't leave the dog's side. It just leaned into the girls against the bars. She's a 5-yr, 70lb girl. Found as a stray. Just checked out & put into the cage yesterday. The girls didn't want to leave her there. Sophia started to cry. Mommy started to cry. Of course I couldn't leave her there.. but I didn't have the $100 to adopt on me & no card on me. It was 4:40 & the shelter was closing at 6pm. So they started all paperwork & the girls & I piled back into the car & raced back home to Corona to get some cash. I prayed the whole way, that "Lord, if we are not meant to have this dog, close this door now. Let the shelter be closed, let us not make it in time, but if we are meant to have her, get us back in time." We got back to the shelter at 5:59, they locked the doors behind us as soon as we got there.

We've spent the first night with her and it feels like we've had her forever already. The saddest part about her is that she WAS someone's pet. She listens to commands, knows to go to the door to potty, and slept quietly in a dog bed all night downstairs. She doesn't have hip problems like Mocha did so can get in & out of the car easily. She has just the right amount of spunk to play with the girls, but doesn't jump on them. Bill is so happy to have her. He is thrilled. The girls are thrilled. Is she going to drive me crazy? Probably. Another living thing to care for, but she's here for the greater good & I'll try & remember that each day I sweep the piles of hair off of the floor. I'll remember that I think she was there in that cage, that day, meant just for us.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Things learned about Family this past month

Growing up not having very much of it- I guess I never understood the true workings of it. I didn't have to do alot of "doing unto others as you would have done to yourself." In the past month, I've learned alot about families.

I've seen the very best shine through as well as the very worst. I've learned through Jerry that eventhough God gives you biological family, it doesn't mean they are family. We had people walk through our door for Jerry's memorial that made my mom just want to scream because of how kept their backs turned to him even in his last days. Some of his family didn't bother to come at all. Unfortunately, someday we will be held accountable for our actions, all of our actions. There were some family that came, that eventhough complete estrangment had taken place over the years, they were so welcome and couldn't have been more loved, all there is is regrets that the past 15 years were not spent making more effort to be a better family. Through my mom & Phyllis, I've learned just how strong the bond between sisters can be, no matter the years or distance in between. Family shown it's face through the women that were here in our kitchen running the show & dropping off meals. Family showed up as loving mothers of friends who couldn't do much but send much needed money. Family has been clearly outlined at my daughter's school. On several occasions, I've known that the amount of money that we pay to send our kids to this private school is not understood when there are perfectly good HUGE public schools near our home. I guess now, I can clearly say, we pay to be a part of something more, a family. Aside from the Christian teaching, THAT is what we pay for & worth every cent.

After a very chaotic month, I'd be ignorant to say that I haven't changed- alot on the inside at least. I've been soaking up every teachable moment of diffiuculty our family has faced. I've learned a lot about the people in my life and if it's possible, I'm even more greatful for them than I was a month ago.