Friday, May 22, 2009

How we got here.

SO I know people are wondering how we got here. I've also been asked why I call Jerry, my mom's husband and not my step-dad. I guess my answer would be sheer habit. I can say now that unfortunately Jerry and I never had much of a bond. He came into my life at age 15 by 18, I couldn't wait to get out of the house. I had always felt I didn't have the decision to live with him or not so, when I was old enough I booted out of there. For years, I blamed him for "ruining" my mom's life. As time went by, the years changed him. They changed me. My children coming into the world changed everyone. Jerry turned into the world's best Grandpa- hands down.

After I had Isabella, all my mom could think about was getting out of Quartzsite, AZ and being closer to me & our growing family. Bill & I were in a great financial place & made the decision, let's open up a family business so everyone could be here. We plunked down $75K and purchased a little gym franchise. Months later, the same day in 2006 that my little t-shirt company, Bella Baby Designs hit a spread in Parents Magazine, we also got the diagnosis on Jerry, he had a horrible lung disease & he would decline quickly if he did not have a lung transplant. Bill and I had to make an immediate decision to stop both the shirt company & plans with our gym in order to save any money we needed for what was about to happen. It seems like in the blink of an eye, my mom & Jerry had to pack up & leave Arizona. Before we knew it, they were broke, & there was only us to carry them. They were living with us and for a time, we thought it would be indefinate. We did what we thought was right for the entire family & plunked down another $75K to buy the house of our "DREAMS" that would accommodate everyone- forever if needed. Well, we all know where that went, we're still fighting to get that money back. Over the course of the next few years, we happlily took care of my mom & Jerry's needs, never once to hear from his family, never once an offer of help, let alone a telephone call. There were huge implications to us financially and our young marriage that barely survied sometimes. The mortgage industry had taken a dump by now. Eventually Jerry received his lung transplant & began to get better. It's now been a year this past April that they have been living on their own, they have been struggling. They've been living month to month, really aside from us taking care of their car, they were doing it all on their own.

The past several months since the diagnosis of cancer, we wish we could do so much more for them only now we are not in a place to be able to do so. It's very disheartening. I've asked pretty much everyone locally I know to chip stuff in for a garage sale tomorrow morning to help my mom with upcoming funeral costs (there is a considerable discount if paying for it pre-need) It's aweful that we just can't write out a check to fix everything. It's even akward asking friends to pitch in. The people I expected to hear from, are front & center wanting to help. Others are surprisingly void of anything going on on my end of the world which I'm trying to not let be hurtful.

So, that is how we got here. Wish us luck on the garage sale tomorrow!

1 comment:

Lizzy said...

What kind of stuff will you be selling and where?

Have to tell you, you are an awesome person! God will bless you all mightily! Hang in there.