Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Do you know the defintion of insanity?

By 9am, I had already thrown the towel in for the day and decided that I was not getting mother of the year award. This morning I dealt with normal mom stuff, trying to get two little girls clothes picked out, hair done, tummies filled in a hurry to get them to school this morning while holding on to my sick 9-mo. old. We got all the way to Fullerton Ave. in the pouring rain only to have to make a u-turn to come back & get Isabella's backpack she left at home. When we parked I realized that the umbrella was also at home. I felt my self becoming unglued when my 3 yr. old couldn't put on her coat. I got very upset when I had to turn around for a backpack. I was not patient. I was not kind. I was completely missing that I could have used frustrating situations as teachable moments. Instead of building them up, I was probably tearing them down. Usually when I've lost all patience, my five year old gets the brunt of it. Where I learned to expect so much of her, I don't know. I really do have to take a step back and remind myself that she is in fact, only five. I have to remember they are not checklists, but my sweet little children. After I dropped them off, I had a knot in my stomach, and prayed all the way home.

It was clear to me as it often is, "You are not a good mom if you don't first ask for God's hand". What I should have done at 5am this morning instead of checking my facebook was enjoy my coffee & spend time with the Lord. I should have asked for patience, for kindness, for tolerance, and for overflowing LOVE for my kids & husband. I forget to do this most mornings, only to go back to the Lord and ask "what went wrong? and fix this please!". The defintion of insanity is doing the same things over and over again but expecting different results. So by defintion, does that make me insane. What makes me think the day would be any different if I start each morning the same?


Robyn said...

I've been dealing with the same thing! I get flustered at some point every morning, snap at my boys, usually Jake more, and then ask God to help me to be more patient.
I feel like I'm sapping their childhood away, for what? For order?
God and I have talks all day long about this.
And just so you know, you're not insane.

Lizzy said...

Definitely NOT insane! I go through the same thing. It's the 'perfectionistic orderly' person in me...But you're so right, they're just kids.

Aaannnddddd since I'm declaring myself NOT insane...you're not insane either. =)